Life of the Party

  “‘I can look after myself!’ I yelled, turning on my heel.

  ‘Chloe, what do you think you –’

  Hadn’t I made myself clear enough, or what?

  ‘Don’t follow me!’ I screamed. ‘I’m fed up with you, okay? I don’t need you, and I don’t want your company. Is that getting through yet?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ she called bitterly after me, ‘that’s got through. Get over yourself, Chloe!’”

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  More Shades 2.0 titles

  Copyright

  ONE

  ‘What have I got?’ I yelled. ‘Two heads?’

  Steph snorted with laughter, but the boy who was staring didn’t seem to think it was funny. Rob Yeadon, the jerk.

  This was the best thing in my changed life: I wasn’t shy any more. Not scared to speak my mind. I didn’t hold back my opinions, or a snappy retort. Flipping the top off another Breezer, I giggled. Two heads! Good line! I liked that.

  ‘Sometimes I wonder,’ said Rob Yeadon. ‘Half a brain in each, like?’

  ‘Ignore him,’ said Steph. She glared at Rob.

  Good old Steph. My best friend. It was Steph who’d befriended me, given me confidence. Before Steph, I’d thought I wasn’t worth knowing.

  I wasn’t. Even my own father used to phone Mum with some excuse, the night before I was due to spend the weekend with him. He was still sorting out his life, he said. He needed space. Well, if even my dad tried to get out of my company, why would anyone else want it?

  Except that Steph did. And instead of feeling sorry for me, she got angry at Dad. He was the selfish one, she used to say. He was the one who didn’t deserve me. And after laughing nervously a few times and shrugging, I’d started to believe her. Yeah, she was right. It wasn’t all my fault. I wasn’t a worthless human being. I was entitled to some fun, too, and a life.

  Yeah, she’d say. Dead right, Chloe! Forget him, and forget that Rob Yeadon and all.

  Steph had cottoned on straight away that I fancied Rob but was too shy to do anything about it. Anyway, if he wasn’t looking at me like something the cat dragged in, he was ignoring me. He’s obnoxious. Steph would tease me, cheer me up. Come on, have a drink.

  If I was mad or miserable, I could call her and she’d talk sense into me and make me laugh. We always had a laugh.

  Even Steph could be a pain, though. Even Steph sometimes dragged me down. Like now.

  ‘You’re never having another?’ Her eyebrows were practically up in her hairline.

  ‘Like you’ve been a model of sobriety all night!’ I laughed.

  ‘Yeah. I didn’t start at four o’clock, though.’

  I wondered if Steph was one of those people who needed a tame sidekick, a stooge to boss around. Suspicion made me suddenly, blazingly angry.

  ‘Have you got a problem?’ I snapped.

  She looked bewildered, and even a bit hurt.

  ‘I’ve got a mind of my own, you know,’ I spat. ‘Have you got a problem with that?’

  Her puzzlement turned to cold fury. She stood up very abruptly.

  ‘I think it’s you that’s got the problem, Chloe.’ Snatching up her half-empty plastic cup – and almost spilling it – she stormed off.

  I felt really pleased with myself. My mind sharp and keen, my head light, I was on top of the world. I’d shown them all: Rob Yeadon and that up-herself cow Steph as well. Oh sure, she made me laugh and gave me confidence, but so did alcohol. I wasn’t dependent on her. I wasn’t dependent on anyone but myself.

  And then I saw the stupid little smile on Rob Yeadon’s face. He was standing in a dark corner of the room with a couple of his thick pals, eyeing up the girls. Except at that moment he wasn’t. He’d obviously just said something to his mate, who looked straight at me and laughed. And Rob Yeadon just stared at me again and shook his head and smiled.

  He was laughing at me. Laughing at me!

  All the good feeling drained out through the soles of my feet, which made me feel dizzy again, but not in a nice way. My stomach felt cold as I realised what I’d said to Steph. Straight away I forgot it again, but whatever it was, it made my head spin horribly. The music in here was way too loud. My brain throbbed, which wasn’t nice in a spinning head. Automatically I lifted the bottle to my lips, but now it tasted too sweet, like sugary chemicals. My throat lifted.

  Oh, boy, did my throat lift. Somehow I got to my feet and bolted for the flat door. Luckily it was a ground floor flat; I’d never have made it down the stairs.

  Steph caught up with me in the narrow close alongside the flats. I’d been sick out in the street as well – luckily there weren’t many people around – and then I’d limped into the alleyway and been sick again. Several times. I hated being sick, but at least it made me feel a bit better.

  I leaned on the wall with both hands. It was a nice wall. I liked the coolness of the stone against my palms. So I put my forehead against it as well.

  Steph rubbed my back.

  ‘You okay?’ she asked gently.

  I thought I was going to say something intelligent, but instead I just groaned.

  ‘Poor old you,’ she said.

  Which was more sympathy than I deserved.

  ‘I’m really sorry, Steph,’ I managed to say.

  ‘Don’t worry about it, kiddo. Come on, I’ll get you home.’

  ‘But you wanted to –’

  ‘Have you any idea how late it is? C’mon, it’s time to go anyway. It was getting boring.’

  And so were you, Chloe. But she was too kind to say it.

  ‘Sorry,’ I said again. Experimentally I pushed myself away from the wall. I swayed, but I could walk roughly in a straight line.

  ‘Whose flat was that, anyway?’

  She shrugged. ‘Dunno. Some mate of Martin’s big brother.’

  I was really glad I didn’t know the flat owner. I sort of suspected how embarrassed I was going to be in the morning.

  ‘Was it a good party?’

  ‘It was okay,’ said Steph. ‘Up to a point.’

  Which meant, I was enjoying it till you spoilt it, Chloe. I felt rotten and I knew when I was sober I was going to feel even rottener.

  ‘Never again,’ I mumbled. ‘Honest, Steph, I’ll never touch another drop.’

  She took my arm, and gratefully I leaned into it.

  ‘I’ve heard that one before,’ she said.

  But at least she laughed.

  It was especially kind of Steph not to dump me at my front door and run. Instead, she took my keys out of my bag and got me inside, and stayed beside me to face the wrath of Mum.

  Not that Mum’s wrath amounted to much.

  ‘Oh, Chloe, for goodness’ sake.’ She put her hand to her mouth. She was in the hallway, in her dressing gown, and she looked dazed, as if she’d been asleep but had heard us coming. That wouldn’t have been difficult, since I’d fallen over when I opened the gate, and knocked over the wheelie bin.

  ‘It’s okay, Mrs Finch,’ said Steph firmly. ‘Really it is. Chloe just doesn’t feel too good.’

  ‘Don’t feel too good,’ I muttered.

  ‘So I’ll just get her up to her room.’

  ‘Chloe.’ There were tears in Mum’s voice. ‘Was it something that happened? Is it me and Dad? Is there something I can …’

  Even feeling as bad as I did, I could still give her a withering glare. No, it was nothing you did, I wanted to say. No, I’m hardly going to be bothered about Dad when he’s not bothered about me. All I’m doing is having a good time. Don’t be so understanding and – patronising.

  I couldn’t be bothered saying anything. But I thin
k she got the point of the glare.

  ‘Tomorrow,’ she said lamely. ‘We’ll talk about this tomorrow. Right, love?’

  Tomorrow, I thought, I’d better avoid Mum like the plague.

  Avoiding Mum was easy enough; she was annoyed with me, that was for sure, but she was also dreading the confrontation, and she’s no better in the mornings than I am. She muttered something over breakfast about talking later, then scurried off to work. I wish I could have avoided Rob Yeadon as easily.

  He grinned at me as he came into the classroom, a superior sort of grin. I was sitting at my desk, hoping I wasn’t going to have to stand up any time soon, because I felt nauseous again. He leaned down as he passed, specially to insult me.

  ‘Looking rough,’ he murmured.

  ‘Yeah, you are that,’ I snapped.

  If I’d had a drink inside me, I could have thought of something wittier. But that would have to do.

  He was like a bad virus. He wouldn’t go away.

  ‘To think I used to fancy you,’ he sneered. ‘Before you were such a cheap drunk.’

  That took my breath away. Even if I’d thought of a snappy retort I couldn’t have got it out. I stared at the pile of books on my desk, trying not to be sick and feeling desperately hurt. Might have told me earlier, was all I could think.

  Talk about irony.

  Might have told me, when I was too shy and insecure to tell him. Might have told me, maybe, before I started drinking more so I’d have the confidence to chat him up …

  Oh, sod him. I had friends. Plenty of friends. I was the life and soul of the party these days.

  Best of all, I had Steph. I leaned across to her.

  ‘The park, later?’

  She grinned. ‘Thought you were staying in for the rest of your life?’

  ‘I need some fresh air,’ I hissed, jerking my head at Rob Yeadon.

  ‘Been having a go at you? Ignore him.’ She sniffed. ‘Yeah, okay. Meet you after tea?’

  ‘Great!’

  I wanted some company. I hated that nagging voice that had crept back into my brain, the one that said I was ugly and worthless and pointless. I just wanted to hang out with friends who liked me.

  It wasn’t as if I was going to have a drink or anything.

  TWO

  ‘You’re dead funny, you. You’re a good laugh.’

  Wished I could say the same about Kieran. He was Ricky Browning’s older brother, and he was sitting way too close to me on the picnic table, resting his feet on the bench. The sun had sunk beyond the tops of the trees, the picnic area was in shadow and it was definitely getting cooler. I hoped Kieran wasn’t going to offer to warm me up.

  Supposedly, drink makes boys look better. For me it was working the other way round. An hour ago I’d thought Kieran was kind of cute. Now he was trying to snuggle up, I could see his lips were flabby, his eyes leery, and he had a zit on the side of his nose. Most likely so did I, and probably Rob Yeadon did too, but there was something dead off-putting about Kieran’s.

  I wished Rob Yeadon wouldn’t keep barging into my thoughts. I took a swig of cider to fend him off.

  I’d be fending off Kieran in a minute. I just knew he’d try and kiss me soon and then I’d be sick. I felt queasy enough already, like last night was catching up with me again. So I kept making cutting remarks to try and put him off, but he just kept chortling.

  ‘You’re a scream, Chloe!’

  No, I just felt like screaming.

  I craned my head round to try and talk to Ricky, who was nearest. I quite liked Ricky, who was in our class and was better-looking than his brother and less of a pain in the neck, but he was hardly worth talking to right now, since he had his tongue halfway down Jenna’s throat. Didn’t exactly make Jenna scintillating company either.

  Steph wasn’t helping. Ricky’s mate Calum was chatting her up, and she wasn’t paying attention to me, and I was getting more annoyed by the second. I took another swig from the plastic cider bottle. That felt a bit better.

  Thoughtfully I studied the bottle. For goodness’ sake. That couldn’t have been me. Could it? I couldn’t have knocked that back all by myself …

  Trouble was, I was bored. Bored, and there was nothing to do but keep taking mouthfuls of cider. I was fed up with the lot of them, and the worst of it was I couldn’t just go home.

  At least it was a beautiful evening. The sky was bright blue, the tips of the pine trees still gilded with light. The rickety picnic table was way out of town in the armpit of nowhere – well, beside the forest walk car park, four miles out of town – and we’d come here because we’d had enough of the municipal park. Too many kids running around screaming their heads off.

  There wasn’t any peace, and some jerk in a blue anorak moaned about us sitting on the swings, and even though Ricky swore at him in technicolour, he wouldn’t leave us alone. In the end it had been easier to take our carry-out somewhere else. Kieran had a car, so we all squeezed in, shrieking and giggling, and drove out here to the forest.

  Which had been fine when we were still having fun. But I didn’t feel too good, and now I just wanted to go home. I wished Steph would snog Calum and get it over with.

  The more I thought about it the angrier I got. She should have guessed I was feeling rough. She knew I’d been sick last night. And again this morning, in the toilets at break time.

  I was the party girl around here. I couldn’t be the one to say it was time to go. I needed Steph to back me up. I needed Steph, full stop, but she was all wrapped up in some boy.

  I took another swig.

  ‘Hey, kiddo!’

  I must have been in a daze, because Steph was suddenly in front of me, grinning, Calum’s arm around her waist. Kieran’s arm was around mine, for that matter, and his hand was sneaking higher. Shuddering, I slapped it away, and yanked his arm off me.

  ‘Oy, what’s your problem?’ Kieran muttered a curse and jumped down off the table to rummage in the off-licence bag.

  ‘Yeah, what’s wrong?’ Steph frowned – perhaps because I was scowling at her – and I saw her glance quickly at my two-litre bottle. She grinned again.

  ‘Is that your second?’

  I stared at it, and at her.

  ‘No. Anyway, there’s nothing else to do around here.’

  I kicked the first, empty bottle with my heel so it rolled down under the wooden table.

  ‘You were the one who wanted to come,’ she pointed out.

  ‘Yeah, well, that was before everybody decided to ignore me.’

  ‘Who’s ignoring you?’ she snapped. ‘I’m just talking to Calum.’

  I gave her a scathing look, jumped down off the table and marched towards the woods.

  Steph followed me. I could tell she was about to lose her temper. Well, good. About time she realised there was someone else in the world besides Calum.

  ‘I thought you were getting on fine with Kieran. You were practically sitting on his lap in the car. You weren’t bothered then.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I blustered, ‘’cause there were six people in the car. Where else was I going to sit? He’s been pawing me for ages and I can’t stand him. I want to go home.’

  Steph grabbed my arm to slow me down.

  ‘Look, what’s wrong? We’re all having a good time. I thought we were having a good time. Come on, it’s a laugh.’

  ‘Not much of a laugh for me. Just because you can’t take your hands off Calum.’

  She stopped abruptly and yanked on my arm, so that I had to stop too. It hurt.

  ‘What are we, joined at the hip? Can’t I talk to anyone else? I really like Calum, you know that.’

  ‘Yeah, but I’m supposed to be your friend and you’re ignoring me.’

  ‘No I’m not.’ She glowered at me. ‘Don’t be so selfish. Are you really going to break up the party just because you’re in a strop?’

  Shaking her off I stepped back, too angry to cry. The trouble was, I knew I was being unreasonable. She was talking to me ag
ain, wasn’t she?

  I just wasn’t that keen on what she was saying.

  The trees around me wouldn’t stay still; they kept shifting ever so slightly, like my eyeballs were sliding around in my head, and the effect made me dizzy. I gripped a tree trunk to stop me grabbing Steph. After all, I didn’t need her.

  ‘There’s no party to break up. This is crap.’

  She took a long, deep breath.

  ‘Listen, let’s not get mad at each other.’

  ‘No, don’t get mad, ’cause I’m not going to spoil anybody’s fun. Right?’

  I had a nasty feeling I was starting to slur my words. I really didn’t think it was me who had started the second bottle, but I’d certainly drunk out of it. And was it really the second or the third? How had that happened?

  At least I’d stopped feeling queasy. A hair of the dog, they called it. Just a tiny bit more alcohol to balance your system. Feeling a little tipsy beat feeling as rotten as I’d felt this morning. When Rob Yeadon called me a cheap drunk …

  Tears stung my eyes.

  ‘I’m going,’ I said.

  ‘Wait.’ Steph almost grabbed me again, but restrained herself. ‘I’ll go and get –’

  ‘No!’ I yelled. ‘I’m not getting back in that idiot’s car. I’ll walk!’

  Kieran reddened with rage, pointing a bottle at me.

  ‘Dead right! No way is she getting back in my car! The little cow can walk!’

  Whoops. I hadn’t meant him to hear. Looked like I’d burned my bridges, but so what?

  ‘I wasn’t going to get Kieran or anybody else,’ said Steph narkily. ‘I was going to get my bag. I’ll come with you.’

  ‘Don’t bother.’ I really did feel guilty now, but I snapped at her anyway. I felt guilty and miserable, and if I didn’t go now I was going to burst into self-pitying tears in front of them all. ‘I don’t need company.’

  ‘Yeah you do. Look, forget that stupid jerk Yeadon. He’s not worth it.’

  Yeah, but all I could think was I used to fancy you, Chloe, before you were a cheap drunk …

  ‘You can do better than him. Come on, lighten up.’ Steph gave me a conciliatory grin.